week, I announced my triumphed return to the [shallow, vapid] world of fashion
blogging. The word spread like wild fire, red carpets were rolled out to
welcome me back and shrines were built in my honor. A frenzy occurred on my Facebook
page, and an entire army of followers rushed to welcome me with open arms.
all 4 of my Facebook followers told me how much they missed my colorful outfits.
had decided on Saturday night that, the entire readership of roxthefox.com,
which consists solely of 15 people (3 of which are my own fake accounts), shall
be treated to my signature rainbow colors that made me such an surpassed
sensation in the blogging world in the first place [/sarcasm]. An attire
consisting solely of Crayola box colors was exactly what I needed to solidify
my return to the blogging world.
then death came for me.
Sunday morning, I awoke from slumber at 3:30pm to learn the worst truth of my
life: Daylight Savings. Yes folks, I had lost an entire hour out of my life …
an hour I could have spent sleeping, or eating Nutella whilst grabbing my fat
rolls, or engaging in my manic stalking skillz on Instagram. I never had the
chance to meet 12:00AM, and now it was
lost in oblivion, dissipated into thin air like the poisonous gases I had
released earlier post-Taco night.
was in mourning.
see, losing an hour from my life brings me closer to death, and I normally
equate death to a creepy man wearing a cape. Thus, to reflect my state of deep
melancholia, I conjured an attire consisting of the aforementioned
cape-of-death in a deep gray color. Surprisingly, it happens to be right on
trend. Way to go, Death. The multi-layered cape was perfect to keep me warm on
this chilly Canadian Sunday, whilst I paced the streets in a somber state,
reminiscing about all the times 12:00 AM and I could have enjoyed. I paired my
attire with Isabel Marant inspired embellished boots that I procured from Aldo
for $70.00. Buy it when you can folks, because let’s be honest, as awesome as
the Isabel Marant pair are, they are going to go out of fashion in 45 minutes,
and you will be left with is mourning the current circumstances of your wallet.
Now I do admit, the hat maybe a tad bit floppy and clearly did not sit well on my head, but I would not appeal to the masses without a wardrobe malfunction, now would I?
last picture is my response to a by-passer who shook his head while the photoshoot
was in order. I told him to ARGOFUCKYOURSELF.