(Jacket: Vintage/ Pants: Topshop/ T-shirt: Maison Scotch/ Bag: Coach/ Bracelets: Hermes, Marc by Marc Jacobs, BCBG/ Shoes: Zara)
Oh my word, hi guys!!! Were you worried I’d been abducted? Robbed? Slashed at
the throat? No? Well, that’s not very comforting for me. Either way though, I
wasn’t, so he ha ho.
now, I know what you're all wondering; that the season for florals and
colors has long surpassed us as the dreary days of Fall lie on the
horizon. However, it is just the beginning of summer-time in the
Southern Hemisphere of planet Earth, and why not take our learnings from
the Northern Hemisphere summers and cascade it down to our friends with
reverse flushing toilets?
so eloquently encapsulated in Exhibit A above, I'm wearing a leather
Coach fanny-pack over my Northern (or Southern, depending on how you're
coming at it) Sanctuary.
right, folks! If there's anything we've learned from this past summer,
and subsequently, from the FW '13 Fashion Shows, it's that fannies are
in, and hands are out. This Coach piece is designed with a belt loop at
the back so you can wear it as a chic fanny pack or a cross-body bag;
allowing your arms and hands the freedom they so vehemently desire.
Think of all the great things your hands desired to do, but were
previously bound by purse handles and such. And if you can't think of
any, here's a hands-free guide to enjoying your upper body limbs:
Look! My hands are free! I am now free to engage in obscene gestual poses that aids in terrifying the innocent on-lookers (see the lady on the
train behind me).
Practicing for an audition on Dancing with the Stars. Listen guys, we are fashion bloggers. We lead busy lives. Between being photographed by street style photographers and returning all the clothes we bought just to be photographed in, ain't no body got time to break a move! Fanny-packin' allows us to multi-task; the now unshackled arms and legs are free to bust out a move at any given time. You can twerk, werq, teach someone how to do the Dougie, hell, you can even do the Macarena. Go ahead and try these dance moves with a conventional hand-bag. I double dog dare you.
Put your hands in your pants. Where our hands were previously occupied by carrying bulky purses; they are now free to move about your body as you please. Not only are hands in the pockets directly synonymous with being chic, but can also be utilized for the manipulation of your fun zone. I call them: pleasure me pockets.
Acting like a Bo$$. There's no better use of arms than to fold them in a manner (and thusly stimulating much needed blood circulation, previously halted by the burdens of shoulder/hand bags) that says that you belong to the cast of The Sopranos family, or alternatively, you're a douchebag.
Communicate with the world more seamlessly. This is how I reel in the mens.
...And if the reeling in of the mens fails, see same sex. I can now utilize my newly untanged arms and hands to greet and acknowledge my fellow Earthlings (see also: repairing damaged relationships).
Lifting heavy objects. My purse is so secure on the said fanny that I can now utilize my upper body limbs to lift items of the wheel and anchor variety (upper body strength of a kitten notwithstanding). Here are three separate ways to engage your now freed limbs in heavy haul lifting, and thusly, impress the mens with your newly formed biceps.
Shooting your opponents. I think I speak on behalf of all my readers when I say that I'm aiming for the likes of Chiara Ferragni and other Creme-of-the-crop fashion bloggers.
This is pretty self-explanatory, but the days of starvation and malnutrition are behind us. Why have one drink, when you can have two?
Enjoying a tete-a-tete with extra-terrestrial objects (or other inflatable items that resemble a p3n!5). E.T. no longer has to face neglect and call home on it's home. Additionally, I can now prepare for E.T. : The Musical. Eat your heart out, Spielberg.
And while we're on the subject of Spielberg.. HEY BRUCE!
Also a versatile use for the said limbs; waving your country's flag in honor. Here's to you, Canada, the land of extremely hard nipple weather and Justin Bieber infestation.
Hands mayalsobe utilized to nurtureobjectsof nature. Or perhapsyour children, who had previously been neglected for the Celine BostonLuggage.
So tell me, what will you be utilizing your unchained hands for?